Diogenes, 23 avril 1869, vendredi 23 avril 1869

mm mm SK.-• !|i sG Price—Five Cents.Montreal, 23rd April, 1869.Vol.I ms units, MBjjsgEm mm mm WtoÜB ü .mWm PSSà wm (Established 1859.) ENRY R GRAY, DISPENSING & FAMILY CHEMIST 144 St.Lawrence Main Street.Svapnia, a new prepaiation of Opium ; Sweet Quinine, a definite Chemical Salt ; Bailey’s Inhalers ; Sulphurous Acid, & Sulphur Pastilles.PHOTO-RELIEVO : A new style of Portraiture introduced by W.Notman, Photographer to the Queen, Montreal.—Branches: Ottawa and Toronto.Call and see them.the RV |[CEST LUNCH IN THE CITY.Delicious OYSTERS and DOW’S No.1 AT DOLLY’S HOP-HOUSE it Gt- St.mes St.PRIVETT.Proprietor.P.&T.A.Dawes fACHINE BREWERY.ontreal Offices 119 Gt.St.James St.U orders promptly executed.Vm.DOW & CO.rewers & Distillers, Montreal.'NDIA Pale and Mild Ales id Brown Stout, in rood and Bottle-Families regularly ipplied at their re-dences.Brewery & Offices, St.Joseph Street.rHE only ingredients required b produce Delici-(us Light Rolls br Breakfast or Tea, re good Flour, Salt and Water, and THE ROOK’S FRIEND BAKING POWDER, ^old by all first-class Grocers.Che Trade supplied by the Sole Manufacturer, H.D.McLaren, 247 it.Lawrence Street FOR BREAKFAST, KEILLETt’S I > I ' TV I > E E AI lV E M A 1 ^ A I > IT , THIS SEASON’S MAKE.One and Two Pound Pots.ALEX.McGIBBON, Italian Warehouse.FRESH MACKEREL, Fresh Salmon, In hermetically Sealed Tins.A supply just received at W.D.McLaren’s 247 St.Lawrence Main Street.T.F.Stoneham Manufacturer of Transparent Window Shades in Gold, Silver, Velvet, Crystal Painted Borders.Landscapes, Flowers, Gothics, Rustic Retreats, &c., beautifully ornamented.Photographic backgrounds, plain and fancy.Wire Screens and Mosquito Gauze Blinds also furnished at this establishment.T.F.Stoneham.295 Notre Dame St.H.Corrigan, Shakespeare Inn, 77 St.Francois Xavier Street.LUNCH every day from 12 to 4.Oysters cooked to order.A choice assortment of Wines, Spirits, Cigars and DOW’S Celebrated Ales.Music.MUSIC STOCK removed from St.James to the New Store, 351 Notre Dame Street.DeZouche Bros.Paper Hangings.TH E Newest Patterns in every variety, Plain and Decorative.DeZouche Bros., 351 Notre Dame Street. 262 DIOGENES.April 23, 1869.MEETINGS, &e.T HEATRE ROYAL.GRAND AMATEUR PERFORMANCE On Monday, 19th April, 1869.With the kind permission of Major-General Bissett, C.B., and under the patronage of Lieut -Col.Fielden and the Officers of the 1st Batt.60th Royal Rifles, a performance will be given by the Amateurs of the Battalion, assisted by Miss Kate Browning and Mrs.C.Hill, Consisting of the thrilling Drama, in two Acts, of the “WRECK ASHORE,’’ By J.B.Buckstone, And the highly amusing Farce of the “IRISH TIGER.” C.Putman, of London, will sing some of his best comic songs, and the Band of the Battalion will perform a select programme during the evenino, under the direction of Sig.Raineru Boxes may be taken and Tickets obtained at Prince’s Music Store, or at the door.Doors open at 7.30, to commence at 8 precisely.Carriages may be ordered at ri.GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.ELOCUTION,; R.ANDREW, Instructor in Elocution, McGill University, continues to give instruction to Ladies or Gentlemen (singly or in private parties) in the Principles and Practice of effective Reading, without imparted mannerism.Burnside Hall, Montreal.M B U I L D E R S __ WILL FIND REGISTERS of all sizes.CHIMNEY CAPS, double and single, PIPE HOLES, STOVE PIPE RINGS, SWEEP HOLE DOORS and FRAMES, FURNACE DOORS and FRAMES, SASH WEIGHTS, all sizes, FANCY DOOR PANELS, And every description of BUILDERS' CASTINGS, AT 118 Great St, James Street, 532 Craig Street East ; Or at the Montreal Foundry and City Works, 165 to 179 William Street.W.CLENDINNENG.WANTED, a Superintendent for the People’s Telegraph Co.; he must be a thorough Operator, and wall be required about 1st May to inspect the Company’s Line whilst building between Ottawa and Quebec.Address, with particulars, S.B.Foote, Chairman ; or A.Joseph, Treasurer, Quebec ; or Wm.McNaughton, Esq., Montreal.RESTAURANTS.Th e cosmopolitan RESTAURANT employs 3 Cooks, 2 Scullery Women, 1 Lunch Attendant in Bar.2 Bar Keepers, 3 Cashiers, 1 Head Waiter, 8 Waiters, 1 Oyster Man, 1 Man especially to serve Soyer’s Puddings and Pies, 1 Man to Clean Knives, 1 Washing Woman, 1 Pantry Woman, 1 Plate Carrier, and feeds not less than 400 Persons Daily.ii T HE TERRAPIN.” Notre Dame Street.OYSTERS—SHELL & COUNT, IN PRIME CONDITION, Received by Express Daily.Luncheon provided from 12 to 3 p.m.Suppers prepared at short notice.Meals at all hours.DELMONICO LUNCH ROOM 79 St.Francois Xavier Street, IS the only place where the Bankers, Brokers, and rich Merchants, of Montreal, assemble every day from 12 to 4 o’clock, to take their LUNCH, as the above Establishment is the spot to save time and money.Savage, Lyman, & Co., SOLE AGENTS, FOR THE DOMINION, OF ULYSSE NARDIN, Locle en Suisse, Have just received by Express, From the above Celebrated Manufacturer, MBox of Fine Chronometers & Watches In Every Style of Gold and Silver Cases, WARRANTED PERFECT TIME-KEEPERS, AND EACH WATCH IS ACCOMPANIED WITH AN OFFICIAL GUARANTEE.Also, for Sale, GOLD AND SILVER WATCHES, Of English, Swiss and American Make, of Superior Finish, and Warranted.SAVAGE, LYMAN & CO., 271 Notre Dame Street.SPRING SALE C OPYING RESSES.Cheap First-Class Account Books.MONTREAL Account Book MANUFACTORY.The Largest and Best Assortments large stock always kept on hand, in every style of Binding and Ruling.COPYING PRESSES IN CANADA, At 25 per Cent, reduction from former prices, during this month only.Also, An extensive assortment of Office Stationery.AT R.Weir & Comp’y’s STATIONERY WAREHOUSE, 160 & 162 Great St.James Street.Desiccated Codfish.One pound equal to four pounds of Raw Fish.Neatly put in one pound boxes.Seven valuable receipts on each box, and full directions for cooking it in the most palatable manner.Alex.McGibbon.Maple Syrup, In One and Two Gallon Tins.Choice quality, being filled at the Sugary in tins made for the purpose.Alex.McGibbon.Canadian Scenery.HOLDSTOCK’S AUTUMN SKETCHES ON SALE AT THE DIOGENES’ OFFICE, 27 Great St.James' Street.DIOGENES.Vol.1 will be completed by the publication of the 26th No.on the 7th ptox.It is intended to bind a limited number of copies in embossed cloth, and, as some of the back numbers will have to be re-printed, intending Subscribers should lose no time in notifying their wishes at the Publishing Office, 27 Great St.Tames Street.No.1 of Vol.2 will be published on the 14th May.a splendid assortment GAS F1 XT U R E S LA TEST AMERICAN and ENGLISH DESIGNS, Just Received at ROBT.MITCHELL & CO.’S, St.Peter & Craig Streets.A NE W SONG àF CHORUS, “/"''ORA BELL,” BY GEORGE S.WILSON Price 25 Cents.For sale at Prince’s and DeZouche Bro.’s Music Stores NEW STRING DRY GOODS.FOR the Prettiest Line of DRESS GOODS for Travelling and Sea-side Suits, go to W.B.BOWIE’S.For the Best Assortment of CAMBRIC and MOHAIR FRILLED SKIRTS and White EMBROIDERED SKIRTS, go to W.B.BOWIE’S.For the Best Assortment of WASHING TRIMMINGS and FRILLINGS, go to W.B.BOWIE’S.For the Best Assortment of FRENCH CORSETS and SKIRT TRIMMINGS, go to W.B.BOWIE’S.For the Best Assortment of LINEN and MUSLIN EMBROIDERED COLLARS and CUFFS and HABIT SKIRTS, go to W.B.BOWIE’S.For the Best and most Extensive Assortment of BUTTONS, FRINGES, and SATIN and GIMP TRIMMINGS, in this city, go to W.B.BOWIE’S.Also, An Extensive Assortment of GENERAL FANCY DRY GOODS, just received, at Very Low Prices.W.B.BOWIE & CO., 395 Notre DamJe Street.April 14. DIOGENES.April 23, 1869.263 All right, pet ?Dio :—‘ ZEKE TRIMBLE ON THE CITY COUNCIL.Dear old Di,— In persooance of your desire to hev a faithful report of thee sity kounsil’s proceedings, I went down on Wensday nite.Being intimately aquainted with the mayre, I was invited intr a seat on the floor of the hows.The fun kum-mensed with Alderman David movin a vote of thanks, to all the fellers in Quebeck, includin the carters who took the deputashun to Bowport.The mover sed that Alderman Bernard distinguished himself before the lokal parlyment, & made Shovo’s mouth water to have such a member into the lower hows, &, fur 1, hee hoped the east wurd wood send him to parlyment insted of Kartchee.Alderman Bernard got up, smiled, drawd his breth, and seconded thee moshun, & sed thet ef it hadn’t bin for Aider-man David knowin the french langwidge so well the korpo-ration bill wood hev bin burst.Kounsillor MackShane here got up and remarkd, thet fur his part, as the representytive of a grete & groin constituency, & representin all the classes & creeds & nashunalities wich were not monopylised by Alderman Rodden, thee Kounsil must not forget the Sity' Klerk.Hee wuz the fello wich did all thee wurk, and hee deserv’d ’onorabel menshun.QUESTIONS.Alderman Valwais wanted the Chareman of the LiteKum-mittee to tell how many lamps there was into Richmond Squair.[Sum fello cried out 6.] This Chareman bein absent, no lite was thrown on this subjec.Kounsillor MacShane wanted to know, when all the Parks was to be thrown round loose, as hee wanted a kupple into his ward, Kounsillor Kay wantid to kno ef it was thee intenshun of thee Drill Shed Kummittee to erect anuther Hundred-Thous-and-Dollar-Velosypede-Rink into the west end of thee sity,— ef so, hee wood try John J.anuther race, to satisfy hisself & the publick wich wus the best hand at it.PETISHUNS.From 400 pursons, kumplanin of too much sno.Petishun from John Moore, kumplanin thet hee didn’t get thee kontract for cleenin thee streets.[This kosed quite a diskushun,—but Kounsillor MackShane took up the defense, & i coodn’t quite make out wich side hee voted on.Hee sed Moore wus a good fello, & ef hee hadn’t votid for Moore he’d hav voted- for MackKenna.TRICHYNOSIS.Alderman Devlin asked Alderman Alexander ef he didn’t think thee publick konfidens wus shook on the pork question ?Fur his part hee thot thet ham & eggs wus thee best part of thee hog, but sum of his constitooents wur nervous on this grate topic, & he hoped Alderman Masterman would give them a lecture on the hog question.Alderman Alexander, in reply, sed, whare the doctors differed so much he didn’t like to say anything to commit himself until the medikle fakulty hed bekum unanimous.Alderman Kay sed it wood be better to go the hole hog, & turn the butchers out of town altogether.Alderman Rodden here arose & sed he got up on a pint of order.As this question involved an expenditure of munny, it must bee referred to the Finanse Kummittee, & konsequently the hole question whs thus disposed of, much to thee relief of the Chareman of the Helth Kummittee.The Mayre suggested that thee poor wimen into Griffntoun who kept hogs, and who derived therefrom thare daily sustenance, shood not be interfered with.Sum fello here attacked the Chareman of thee Peelicemen onto thee clothes question.The Chareman is some punkins on dri goods, & hee got up & told how thee poor peeliceman wus always a walkin around on thee frosty nites of winter, & the sultry evenins of summer, whilst wee were all a sleepin into our kumfortable kots ; and how Chief Penton never slept a wink when Depity Hughes wus onto the track ot a Burglar, and attendin to his dooties with the Sno Shu Klubs & enkouragin thee muskular development of our yuth.Hee sed, ken it bee for one moment doubted thet these men want good clothes to stand all this ?Ef it wood not hurt the feelins of sum persons, whose names hee wood not menshun, he kood a tale unfold wich wood surprise the kounsil.Sum malishus persons had sed hee was a mason, but this wus not so.Hee had never voted to license any man bekos he wus a mason.Far from it The Witnis wus always attakin masons, and the licens kummittee; but this wus unjust.Thare wood always bee trubble while whiskee wus cheep, and the litenin that wus sold into sum of the groggeries wus a kurse to sivilisashun.Alderman Simard sed he rose to a pint of order ; the question in debate wus clothes, not whiskee,—dri goods, not likor, —& thee honorable gentleman hed talked haf an hour, when hee had o’t to hav kut it short 20 minits be4.Alderman Nelson sed he’d bin a listenin for sum time, expectin to here sumthing wurth listenin to, but he konsidered that thare hadn’t bin much bisness dun.Alderman Henderson here arose, in quite an exsited state, & sed, “ Mr.Chareman, what is the question we air a votin on?” Thee rest of the Kounsil laffed, and the Fathers adjourned.Yours trooly, Zeke Trimble.Finis.—I hev attendid thee Lokal Legislatoor durin thee last seshun, & it is mi kandid opinion that thay air a i-horse konsern, kumpared to our Kounsil, wich is an honor to any sity i have ever bin into, & kin beet awl kreashun in borryin munny.z.T. DIOGENES.264 CURIOUS COINCIDENCE.N the rambling autobiography of the Prince of Charlatans, (Diogenes of course refers to Mr.P.T.Barnum), it is related that in his early youth he was hideously bewildered by a simple arithmetical question.So hopelessly mysterious did it appear that it fascinated him in a weird manner.It haunted him oppressively, like a nightmare, and blighted for a time the happiness of his childhood.The maddening conclusion, to which he was arithmetically driven, was so utterly repugnant both to experience and to reason, that even his tender intellect refused to admit it, though at the same time he was unable to detect the fallacy.The conundrum is as follows :—Master Jones is bom when his father is just twenty years old.Mr.Jones is undoubtedly at this important date twenty times as old as his infant son.In ten years, however, he will be only three times as old, and in ten years more he will be only double his age.As the son is evidently gaining, rapidly, upon his father’s age, the question arises, when will he actually overtake it ?There is much to be said in favour of the popular belief that in spite of the plausible conundrum this event has never really taken place.The Cynic has never witnessed it in the whole course of his long-protracted existence ; but he lately met with a paragraph in the Toronto Globe, which related, without any comment, an incident equally extraordinary.In a notice of the death of Sir Edward Cunard, the Western biographer informs us that “ Sir Edward Cunard was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia, January ist, 1816—as Was his father—and was there educated.” A statement of this nature is certainly somewhat startling, but (as the Globe claims to be the leading journal of the Dominion) the Cynic with commendable modesty hesitates to contradict it.ANOTHER ODD ADVERTISEMENT.An exchange advertises under the head of “ Lost ” “ A horse, belonging to a lady with a long switch tail of a dark color, and a good trotter.” Dio.at first thought there was a misplacement of a comma in this advertisement, but on reflection he thinks not.The “ long switch tail ” evidently alludes to the usual appendage of a “ girl of the period,” and the fact of the “ dark color ” being mentioned, is only to call attention to the singularity of that tint where all around is golden.“A good trotter,” of course, speaks for itself.All girls can walk, and thé number of our winter dances would show that most can gallop; but though many are seen trotting about the streets, few “go the pace” to which the advertisement clearly refers.MASONIC HONOURS.Whiskey Detective Mason is again in trouble ; this time at Windsor, (Ont.) He has received a formal notice, warning him to quit the town forthwith, or he will be summarily dealt with by the Windsor Vigilance Committee.The hotel-keepers whom he has informed against, intend, if they catch him, to give him a Masonic grip, and to invest him unceremoniously with the Windsor Uniform.On this occasion only it will consist of—tar and feathers.*** Since the above was written, Diogenes has observed in a telegram that Mr.Mason has returned to Toronto in a damaged state, having been severely handled by the Windsor fraternity.He will hardly visit them again.April 23, 1869.THE NIGHT-WATCH.yHALLSC f RIFLE I IPOWDEP tvmi Ijjppgitijflp ’IgiKSSV “ A night of this work affects one more than sixteen severe dinners.”—Extract from Bank Clerk's Private Correspondence.“REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM.” The Intercolonial Railway Commissioners announce that, no “ further sections” of the line will be offered to public competition for some mouths.Many persons imagine that the delay is caused by incomplete surveys, &c.Diogenes knows better.He therefore enlightens the public with “ a tale from his tub.” The Commissioners urged, by economy, animated by strong desire to save public money, and encouraged by the unexpected determination of the contractors to work at a loss, are considering how much the next “successful contractors” (?) shall pay down per mile for the privilege of excavating the works.This is a step in advance, and quite novel in railway practice.“Ad interim,” the attention of Dr.Irvine is requested to elucidate the orthography of the term “ further sections.” Any communications the learned and accomplished gentleman may have to make, should be addressed to the Secretary of the Intercolonial Railway Commissioners, Ottawa.CONCENTRATED LYE.The patentee of the above, wishing to pay an appropriate compliment to the person whom the Globe calls the “ best telegraphic correspondent in the Dominion,” has consigned his first shipment for Ottawa, to the distinguished individual referred to. and; 266 DIOGENES.April 23, 1869.MON PETIT PANIER.Œ ¦i 5^^ « w>ïa sag Sophie:—“But don’t you think it sa leetle—?” Fair Owner :—“ Oh, dear, no ! Every one wears them like that !” PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES.OWITT, the veteran English author, has lately published an interesting book, entitled “The Northern Heights of London.” At p.170 of this work he has been guilty of an unaccountable mistake, for which he has been unmercifully “chaffed” by the London Athenœum.After having described Mrs.Barbauld’s poems as deficient in genuine poetical inspiration, he continues : “ Yet Lord Byron manages to borrow an idea from her, namely— “ The earth hath bubbles as the water hath, And this is of them l ” Now, as almost every one is aware that this passage, slightly varied, occurs in Act I of Macbeth, and was therefore not borrowed by Lord Byron from Mrs.Barbauld, Mr.Howitt has undoubtedly displayed strange ignorance, but Diogenes hardly thinks that the Athenœum should have lifted up its heel against him.The Cynic remembers a certain review of Napoleon’s “ Life of Julius Cæsar,” in which the Athenœum critic deliberately asserted that the noble Roman “ was killed at the foot of Potnpey’s Pillar.” To confound Pompey’s Statue with Pompey’s Pillar is, in the opinion of the Cynic, a far more culpable blunder than to attribute to Mrs.Barbauld a line and a half from Shakspere ! BELLA, HORRIDA BELLA.“ Advantages of a War with England !”—“ War the greatest good that could happen to the United States !”— “ Falsity of the Brotherly Love theory !”—“ Concessions out of the question !” The above, and many more like them, form the present staple texts of articles in the leading papers of the United States,—all full of fiendish hate to Old England.Their spirit is so diabolical, so utterly antagonistic to Christian sentiment, that Diogenes is led to infer that the technical “devils” of the printing offices in the United States fulfil no longer the harmless and necessary functions usually assigned to them,-—but that, breathed on from below, they have, by that breath, been promoted to editorial chairs in their respective establishments, where they are now doing the bidding of the Prince of Darkness.And No Wonder.—Pretty little Jessica is very much surprised that sailors should so often hug the shore, when there are so many other objects much better worth hugging available, and they are so generally welcome in other and softer quarters.L- T ckIfjt s 'Æ A “AXES TO GRIND.” Sir George {loq) “Take your time, Gentlemen, some of your metal is pretty hard.liiiiiîîi! ^§Pf mm mm km llvS.^vv S^:4« mm" April 23, 1869.DIOGENES. DIOGENES.April 23, 1869.ESSAYS ON SOCIAL SUBJECTS.No.7.STAITSMEN.’Tis a fine thing to be a Staitsman, or Patriot, for they are muchly about the saim.It don’t cost much to be a Staitsman, and there is many pecoonary advantidges conjuncted with bein one.When you is a Staitsman, and is in offis, get everything you can for yourself,—and wat you cant get for yourself, get for your frends.With bein a few yeers in offis you can lay bye unto yourself a hansum patremoney, besides mayhap droppin in for a stray barrenkn’tcy.You can then with advantage retire from the Staitsman biz, and eat your oates and taturs in peace and quietness.If you is a Staitsman, and is not in offis, you must strike offis right off, if posserbul.Tell every one that the chaps in offis isn’t of the bully lot, and that the kuntry will be scoured with human gore ef yure side aint boss o’ the shanty.Bye-’n-bye, when you have shook the konfidens of the kuntry in the chaps in offis, spred reports, tell lyes, hire papers, kanvas, rite pamflets, and use other honrable meens to kick them out.At larst, when you have kicked them out, go into offis yureself, and carry on same style as thay did.Tacks the kuntry,—collée impostes,—kollar the revenew,— and you too peradventur may also retire sum punkins, and a barren-knite.It is konsidered allowable for a Staitsman to change his polyticks wunce in a way, but not two offen.Sum ignrant peeple mite call him a turncote, a deserter, or a apostait, but no liberal minded Staitsman wold objec to the change of polyticks, especial if it benifitted theirselves.I wold rite more on this subjec, but I have just got a messige to say that Shovo wants to konsult me (I air in Qwebec) bout the inter-nashunal-colonal-in-favor-of-stoppidges -hoss-car-line, as he dont find his intellec suffishent greeced, and wants to take a rinkle from me.Spec old Shovo, Donkyn, Coachon, and their tayle, think they is on a big thing.If they is, they must pony-up, as they dont phool Yures trooliest Peleg Plug.REVENGE.269 BALLAD.I.Loud on the air it soared, At the lonely midnight hour, When the disembodied walk abroad, And evil things have power.II.From the deserted street Up rose that direful cry, And the pensive peeler on his beat Seemed scarce less scared than L hi.And the shops that their shadows flung O’er the moonbeams cold and bright Threw back the echo, as it rung Its tones upon the night.IV.Twas not a vague dim fear That held me to my station, I paused, tho’ I listed not to hear Such an awful intonation.v.But as I bolder grew, The thought of all danger scorning, A shadowy form I made out through The mirk of that April morning.VI.Yes ! ’twas a shadowy swain, He danced, blew his fingers, then he Sent forth his voice to the stars again, “ Hot taturs at two a penny.” “ Well, certainiy, those men have no manners, to leave me sitting seven dances in succession.I shall refuse the very first offer.” TAKING ADVANTAGE OF CIRCUMSTANCES.A REMINISCENCE OF THE LATE SNOW-STORMS. DIOGENES.270 IN A FINE FRENZY.$ ritics of Poetry, when p'they warm with their subject, are apt to degenerate into desperate “ highfalutin.” Diogenes ' draws attention to the C following hysterical 'rhapsodies in which the Athenceum lately eulogized some poems by the Hon.Roden Noel : “ In a softly-tinted sentiment closely akin to his delicately sensuous feeling for natural colour, Mr.Noel has no rival.He sings with fairy - like and subtle power.” Again, speaking of some blank verse on the god Pan, the critic calls it “a poem very striking and quite original,—forming a sort of grandiose, pantheistic hymn to Nature.As mere blank verse it is very' striking— resonant, grandiose, and full of motion.” The word pantheistic in this passage, which, be it remembered, is on the subject of the god Pan, looks very like an atrocious attempt at a joke— but as the critic has already enough sins to answer for, the Cynic cheerfully acquits him of the crime.He cannot, however, quite forgive him for having written the following galimatias:—‘-Ganymede is an idyl thoroughly and tremendously Greek, a bit of work which reads like Theocritus in the original ; too Greek, too worthy of Theocritus, some will say, but artistically a finished gem.It remains in the eye like a small Turner,—the youth in the green dale, the “ imperial eagle amorous” miraculously descending, a golden haze of dreamy sunlight irradiating all into a picture not to be forgotten.” [maison I | OTTI1ER is iÜMI MM NEWFOUNDLAND IS COMING.In every respect Newfoundland will prove an invaluable acquisition to the New Dominion, but eminently so in a April 23, 1869.financial sense.Its Banks, at once the most extensive, the moat celebrated, and the most productive, in the world, are always solvent; and though much exposed and subject to diurnal fluctuations, have never yet gone into liquidation.The floating capital of these Banks is immense, and never idle, and by a natural process always increasing.Their assetts are always available—with a hook.Nor are their managers, accustomed as they are to great transactions and vast sources of profit, indifferent to minor interests.Nothing is forgotten, omitted, or neglected, that can bring fish to their net—however small.The dead sometimes cut up well, but these men get He from livers.It is only the supremely perverted who would say that the whole affair is fishy : there is nothing about it, inside or out, in its management or managers, in its men or its maids, that can be called scaly.Servant Girl, loq.—“ Please, sir, Missus told me to say, if you was to come in, that they’ve been and enrolled you for the militia, sir.” wiaii «¦an KM w*'-, TO CORRESPONDENTS.We are compelled this week to curtail literary matter, and give additional wood-cuts.This has been forced upon us by the printers’ strike.For the same reason we have had to omit the advertisements of Mr.D.Crawford (late Baird & Crawford), The Commercial Union Assurance Company, Messrs.Burland, Lafricain & Co., Mrs.Muir, 399 Notre Dame Street, Messrs.Simpson & Bethune’s Card, The Montreal Milk Company, The India & China Tea Company, and Mr.Grant’s Views of the Flood.Montreal : Printed for the Proprietor by M.Longmoore, 67 Gt.St.James Street, and published at the Diogenes Office, 27 Great St.James Street. April 23, 1869.DIOGENES.271 T A FAVOR IT A” J_j is I Itttto dation.never Heir etkir is and thing ish to p well, emely there nt or 4 \ “ the Brand of the Best Cigar (manufactured in the Dominion, and just put con the market by SAM.McCONKEY, 30 & 32 Great St.James Street, Montreal.La Favorita” is of a mellow and delicious flavor, and cannot fail to recommend itself to connoiseurs and all lovers of the fragrant weed.Can be had Wholesale and Retail from I Sam.McConkey at the above address.Vivv.t Regina ! Royal Fire and Life Insurance Comfany Of Liverpool and London.Capital - - Two Millions Sterling, With Large Reserved Funds.Annual Income Fire Branch.S' IMPSON & BETHUNE’S Fire, Marine, and Inland INSURANCE AGENCY.Capital.$ 1,000,000 HOME INSURANCE COMPANY New Haven, Conn.A ssets.#1,622,974.39 WESTERN ASSURANCE COMPANY Of Canada.!apîtal.#400,000 Surplus.f 200,000 \nnual Premium Income.#300,000 This prosperous Home Institution is now ansactmg a larger business than any other in lanada, and by its prompt and honourable ealing commends itself to Mercantile Men, fessel Owners, and Proprietors wanting •diable Insurance.Buildings, Stocks, Furniture, Manufactories, |tfcc., Insured against FIRE.Vessels, Cargoes nnd Freight Insured fagainst the risks of MARINE and INLAND (NAVIGATION.Parties having Vessels to insure, can have them surveyed and rated by our Inspector, on ; eaving the name and location of the Craft at pur Office.•! RISKS also placed in the best New York, ! Boston and Philadelphia Companies.Offices : 102 ST.FRANCOIS XAVIER STREET.GOODALL’S Playing Cards, SMITH’S METALLIC MEMORANDUMS, PIRIE’S ANTIQUE NOTE PAPER & ENVELOPES, at the Diogenes’ Jfficb, 27 Great St.James Street.8 Sty d)« sud jn® # £ À Very Moderate Rates of Premium.Prompt and Liberal Settlement of Losses.Loss a?id Damage by Explosion of Gas made good.No Charge for Policies or Transfers.Life Branch.The following are amongst the important advantages offered by this Company : Perfect Security to A usurers.Moderate Rates of Premium.Large Participation of Profits—The Bonuses being amongst the Largest hitherto declared by any Office, and Livided every Five Years.Exemption of Assuredfrom Liability of Partnership.Claims Settled Promptly on Proof of Death.Liberal A lloiuance for Surrendered Policies.Forfeiture of Policy cannot take place from Unintentional Mis-statement.No Charge for Policies or Assignments.Medical Fees paid by the Company.Tables and Forms of Application, with all other information, can be obtained by application to H.L.Routh, W.E.Scott, M.D., Medical Examiner.Alfred Perry, Fire Inspector.gOOKS, MAGAZINES, NEWSPAPERS, STAMPS, AND STATIONERY, AT THE DIOGENES’ OFFICE, 27 Great St.James* Street Opposite the Post-office, and next door to the St.Lawrence Hall), MONTREAL.(Orders taken for English and American Books, Newspapers and Periodicals.CONFECTIONERS.JUST RECEIVED.gOXES of “SOMEBODY’S LUGGAGE.” Also, CHOCOLATE CREAM-DROPS, and all kinds of CARAMELS, Fresh, Daily.CHAS.ALEXANDER & SON, 391 Notre Dame Street.,£800,000 Stg.OFFICE OF THE ORIENT MUTUAL INSURANCE COMPANY, New York, 28th January, 1869.THE following Statement of the Affairs of this Company, on the 31st day of December, 186S, is published in conformity with the provisions of its Charter :— ASSETS, 31 st December, 1868.Cash in Banks.$123,801 16 United States Stock.441,575 09 Stocks of States and Corporations, and Loans on demand 162,517 09 Subscription Notes (of which $254,826.20 are not yet used).- 565,101 35 Bills Receivable, Uncollected Premiums and Salvages.293,824.21 Accrued Interest and Unsettled Accounts.22,458 5° Agent.Gould & Hill, importers of Pianofortes, Cabinet Organs, and Musical Instruments, No.ns GREAT ST.JAMES STREET, MONTREAL.B ROWN, CLAGGETT McCARVILLE, 463 NOTRE DAME STREET Are now Open with a splendid Stock of British, Foreign and American Fancy and Staple Dry Goods.SUGARS.CANADA SUGAR REFINERY, MONTREAL.JOHN REDPATH & SON I MANUFACTURE ALL KINDS OF REFINED SUGARS.WHITE SUGARS—Stove Dried, Moist, and Crystals.YELLOW SUGARS—Brown and Yellow of every kind.SYRUPS—Amber, Golden and Standard.Office : NORTH BRITISH CHAMBERS, HOSPITAL STREET.FRENCH Fancy Stationery at the DIOGENES’ OFFICE, 27 Great St.James Street.'T'HE EUROPEAN MAIL JL on Sale at the DIOGENES’OFFICE, 27 Great St.James Street.Subscriptions and Advertisements received.J UST RECEIVED, a nice assortment of genuine Scotch CHEVIOT TWEEDS for Spring wear.J D.ANDERSON, 124 St.James Street.INSURANCE.INSURANCE.' ?727,893 2-* 88l,384 06 Total amount of Assets.$1,609,277 30 The Board of Trustees have resolved to pay Six per cent.Interest on the outstanding Scrip Certificates to the holders thereof, or their legal representatives, on or after the 1st March next.After allowing for probable losses in the case of vessels out, of time, and unsettled claims, they have also (in addition to a Bonus of Ten per cent, paid in cash on the Subscription Notes) declared a Dividend, free from Government Tax, of Twenty-five per cent, on the net amount of Earned Premiums of the year ending 31st December, 1868, for which Certificates will be issued, on and after the 1st March next, to Dealers entitled to the same.The accumulations of this Company having reached, w'th the past year’s earnings, the sum of $906,000, they have further resolved, in view of the increased business of the Company, to postpone the redemption of Scrip until the total accumulations exceed $1,000,000.By order of the Board, CHARLES IRVING, Secretary.TRUSTEES.Joseph Gaillard, jr., George Mosle, Edward F.Davison, A.LeMoyne, jr., E.H.R.Lyman, Henry H.Kunhardt, John Auchincloss, Lawrence Wells, Francis Cottinet, Charles Luling, Alex.Hamilton, jr., George F.Thomae, Carl L Recknagel, W.F.Cary, jr., Cornelius K.Sutton, Edward Haight, Leopold Blerwirtz, Simon de Vissert, John S.Williams, Alex.M.Lawrence, Fred.G.Foster, George Christ, Richard P.Rundle, John D.Diz, James Brown, N.D.Carlisle, Theodore Fachiri, C.L.F.Rose, Wm.S.Wilson, F.Cousinery, Gustav Schwab, John F.Schepeler.ASSURANCES effected f~\.before 30th April next in the CANADA LIFE ASSURANCE COMPANY, obtain a year’s additional profits over later entrants, and the great success of the Company warrants the Directors in recommending this very important advantage to Assurers.Sums Assured.#5,300,000 Amount of Capital and Funds.2,000,000 Annual Income.200,000 Assets of about $150 (exclusive of uncalled capital) for each $100 of liabilities.The income from interest upon investments is now alone sufficient to meet the claims by death.Every information afforded by DONALD MURRAY, General Agent, 77 St.James Street.EUGENE DUTILH, President.ALFRED OGDEN, Vice-President.CHARLES IRVING, Secretary.NOTICE.This Company issue, when desired, Policies and Certificates, payable in London and Liverpool, at the Counting Rooms of Messrs.Drake, Kleinwort & Cohen.The undersigned continues to receive applications for Open and Special Policies, and to effect Insurances on Ships, Cargoes, and Freights, with the above well known Company, payable in Gold or Canadian Funds.HENRY McKAY, No.1 Merchants’ Exchange.Montreal, Feb.4, 1869. DIOGENES April 23, 1869.TEAS.N OTICE TO THE PUBLIC The MONTREAL TEA COMPANY, 6 Hospitai.Street, Montreal, Impqrters, Cash, or send, carriage free, on receipt of the payable to Express on delivery, Four 5 lb.Packages, Two 12 lb., or One 25 lb-, and Half-chests.Silver taken at par.The usual premium for Notes sent by Post for Teas, added to the order.No Dyes to make them look well, or poisonous mattei in the Teas sold by this Company ; all are warranted healthy and pure.Where there are no Express Offices, Teas are sent to the nearest station.Send on your orders.Everybody speaks well of the Tea.Common Congou—Broken Leaf, 35c.; Fine English Breakfast, 50c., 60c., and 65c.; Finest Sonchong, a rare English Breakfast Tea, 75c.; Japan, good, 50c.to 55c.; Fine, 60c.to 65c.; Very Finest, 75c.; (Green Tea), Young Hyson, 50c.; Fine, 60c.to 65c.; Very Fine, 85c.; Gunpowders, Twankays, Oolongs, and other Teas, equally cheap, quality considered.Beware of Pedlars offering Teas in small quantities, as from this establishment.HOUSE FURNISHING.CAVAGE, LYMAN & CO.have in Stock all necessary articles for parties Furnishing House :— ELECTRO-PLATED WARE, FORKS, SPOONS, LADLES, TABLE CUTLERY, JAPANNED TRAYS, BRITANNIA METAL GOODS, &c , &c.271 Notre Dame Street.SEEDS SEEDS l SEEDS!! SEEDS!!! JUST RECEIVED, MY New Seeds from France, England, and the United States, all guaranteed FRESH.One of the best collections in CANADA, either in FLOWER, VEGETABLE, or TTELD SEEDS.A liberal discount allowed to Dealers and Agricultural Societies.Flower Seeds delivered free by post to all parts of Canada and the United States at the rate of 25 packets for $1.00.EE3P* Cail aud get Catalogues, JAMES GOÜLDEN, Druggist, 177 & 179 St.Lawrence Main Street, Montreal.FIELD SEEDS! GARDEN SEEDS! FLOWER SEEDS! AFRESH and pure lot of imported SEEDS, in every variety, just received, and for sale by RICHMOND SPENCER, Chemist, «fee., Corner of McGill & Notre Dame Sts.Country orders punctually filled.FRESH & GENUINE 1869 field, 1869 GARDEN, and flower seeds.THE attention of the public is invited to the very extensive and superior stock of FIELD, GARDEN, and FLOWER SEEDS now offered at the Canada Agricultural Warehouse, St.Ann’s Hall, over St.Ann’s Market, by Wm.Evans, Seedsman to the Board of Agriculture for the Province of Quebec.Descriptive Catalogues of Vegetables and Flowers, with directions for their cultivation adapted to this climate, may be had on application at the Hall.Attention is also invited to his very complete assortment of Agricultural and Horticultural Implements, Tools, «fee., which comprises nearly everything necessary for the farm and garden.HATS & CAPS.ÂN inspection of our extensive Stock of MEN’S, YOUTH’S, and CHILDREN’S FASHIONABLE HATS is solicited.1000 doz.to select from, at COWAN & DESAUTELS’ Old Established HAT AND CAP EMPORIUM, Comer Notre Dame and St.Peter Sts.1869.LA TEST SPRING STYLES.WILLIAM SAMUEL H AS just received and opened several Cases of the Latest Novelties i HATS, FOR SPRING WEAR, and respectfully solicits a call from his numerous patrons and the public.367 Notre Dame Street, Montreal.COLLARS.HTHE CANADIAN COLLAR X FACTORY, Nos.580 and 582 Craig Street.Messrs.RICE BROTHERS, the Proprie tors of the Factory, have constantly on hand a large supply of PAPER COLLARS, CUFFS, SHIRT-FRONTS, &c., of .all styles.Their goods are manufactured from the best of Plain, Enamelled, Linen, Imitation, Linen-faced, and Marseilles paper, imported direct from England.German}', and the United States.They are also continually introducing new styles, which, for neatness and elegance, far surpass those of any other in the market.Trade strictly wholesale.CEMENT.NEW DOMINION CEMENT The Best Article ever offered to the Public.WE challenge the world to produce an Article of superior merit for mending FURNITURE, LEATHER, WOOD, CROCKERY, GLASS, CHINA, BONE, PORCELAIN, MARBLE, RUBBER, MEERSCHAUM, IVORY, & c., &c.Full Directions with each Bottle.Price, 25 cents.Satisfaction guaranteed or money refunded.Local and Travelling Agents wanted in every Town and County throughout the Dominion.Liberal Terms to the Trade.Sample Bottles sent by Mail on receipt of Price.Address, E.F.Me AY A Y & Co., Sole Proprietors & Manufacturers, 153 GREAT ST.JAMES STREET, (opposite Ottawa Hotel,) MONTREAL.Copyright Secured.HOTELS.ST.LAWRENCE HALL, Great St.James Street, Montreal.H.HOGAN.Proprietor.SPRING MEDICINE.T1 HE Safest and Best is the PLANTAGENET MINERAL WATER.R.W.BOYD, Agent, Place d’Armes.TAILORS.T OHN GALBRAITH, J MERCHANT TAILOR, HAS REMOVED TO no St.Peter Street, (3rd Door from Craig St.).He extends a cordial invitation to his Customers and the Public to an inspection of his NEW SPRING STOCK, which he offers at low' prices.TO THE MILITARY.T WHITTAKER, f « 35° Notre Dame Street, Late Master Tailor 4th Batt.Rifle Brigade.Having opened business at the above address, and being a practical artizan, respectfully requests the patronage and support of Officers of the Staff and of the Line, and Volunteers ; also, gentlemen of business, skilled mechanics and workingmen.ARTISTS’ MATERIALS.^RTISTS’ MATERIALS, Of every description, and of the very best quality, for Sale by JOHN MURPHY, No.8 Bleury Street.L U BIN’S PERFUMERY, comprising twenty different kinds.“’S TOILET SOAPS.YARDLEY’ FLAVORING ESSENCES, prepared expressly for Family use.HENRY R.GRAY, Dispensing and Family Chemist, 141 St.Lawrence Main Street.(Estab.1859).Physicians’ Prescriptions carefully dispensed and forwarded to all parts of the city.N.B.—This establishment is entirely dependent on the good opinion of the public, as no percentage is paid to physicians to influence their prescriptions.A NOVELTY in Collars, manufactured by Messrs.RICE BROS., called “The Alarm,” is very pretty, graceful, and easily adjusts itself to the neck.AT EW DOMINION DYEING & SCOURING WORKS, 782 Craig Street, near St.A ntoine.First Prize, Montreal, i860.First Prize, State of New York, 1867.GEO.POCOCK, l Proprietors JOSH.BOESE, j ^r°Pnetors- GOOD HARD WOOD! THE CHEAPEST FUEL.Firewood (four feet long) : Maple.Birch and Beech for sale, cheap, in the Yard at the Corner of St.Mary and Barclay Streets, opposite the Government Wood Yard.ED.J.CHARLTON & CO.CHEMISTS.- H AVE YOUR PRESCRIP- TIONS PREPARED AT THE CITY DISPENSARY, No.252 Notre Dame Street.,TH5 EU! J.EUGENE D’AVIGNON, Licentiate of the College of Physicians and Surgeons, CHEMIST & DRUGGIST.m cur.Pure Drugs and Chemicals, Perfumery.Hair, Tooth and Nail Brushes, Combs, and; other toilet requisites of best quality and at low prices.A large assortment of fancy Scotch Goods.i.tiliR CITY DISPENSARY, 252 Notre Dame Street.ITiSi CORN FILES! mm HTHE CHEMICAL FILES JL FOR CORNS, Used with so much success in the Relief I and Cure of Corns, for sale at J.GARDNER’S, Chemist & Druggist, 375 Notre Dame Street, } And at the EAST END BRANCH, 211 & 213 Notre Dame, (Corner of St.Gabriel Street), j [j« PRIVE" AGENTS.C HARLES H.TUGGEY, REAL ESTATE AND INVESTMENT AGENT, 61 Great St.James Street, MONTREAL.Special attention given to the Renting of Shops, Warehouses, and Dwellings, furnished ! and unfurnished ; the Collection of Rents, Buying and Selling of Real Estate, Negotia- « tion of Loans, «fee.BROKERS.F RANK BOND, STOCK AND SHARE BROKER, 7 St.Sacrament Street, Montreal.All descriptions of Stocks.Bonds,